The past 12 months or so has been a very interesting time, largely due to me shifting away from avoiding the capitalist system to a space somewhere in between, straddling my ideologies and the the current system that exists in the world today. The capitalist system as we know it was my default, what I was brought up in, and a system I know how to manipulate and leverage to achieve ‘success’. And moving back towards it gave me a sense of relief, as I was closer to familiar ground. But it is when I began to critically challenege the current system that things got difficult, and I began to question everything. As a result i’m not sure that questioning absolutely everything is the best option, it left me in limbo and I struggled to make significant progress with what I was involved in. My understanding and thoughts evolved and made progress,
but not my actions nor projects made any significant head way. Or so it seemed. The biggest frustration was how this had a ripple effect on my leadership skills, something I’ve always seemed to have. But once I started doubting the system and the way I had been doing things, I found it incredibly difficult to commit my full body and time to achieving the end goal, and this also meant that I could not lead others with the full confidence I normally have. I have since leant that questioning things you don’t believe in is key, but one must keep track of these thoughts in order to figure out where the doubt is originating from, as it often leads to a common point and will help you avoid discarding a particular train of thought based on misunderstanding the root issue.